Rock-a-bye Baby

In an attempt for peace tonight, I decided to do something I haven't done in a very long time. I rocked Jaelyn to sleep. It only took about 20 minutes to get her really relaxed before putting her in bed. I don't know how long or how often I'll continue it, but tonight was really good for me. She makes me so mad sometimes and it's hard to let go of that when she can turn her emotions on and off so easily. Watching her all relaxed and nestled in my arms, she looked like a peaceful angel. I think she and I need more time like that...when I can put all of my upset and angry feelings aside and just marvel in what a little miracle she is and how thankful I am to be her mom.

Of course, she either wasn't asleep or woke up because she's crying at me now (40 minutes later), but it's a start. At least Allie and Caden went to sleep without listening to her scream.

Bad Night

Last night, I just wanted to get in my car and drive away. Instead, I sat on the backyard swing and had a good cry. Jaelyn's tantrum started at bedtime as she was (or actually wasn't) putting on her nightgown. I have no idea what triggered it other than pure exhaustion. She had been awake since 5:30 yesterday morning. It took about an hour and a half for her to get it out and settle enough to go to sleep. She was up at 6:30 this morning; so still not enough sleep. This is so hard.

Catching Up

Last week was hard. Jaelyn really struggled and it came out in tantrums, massive explosions, and trouble sleeping. It didn't help my mood that it was gray and rainy most of the week. I'm a flake and messed up an appointment with her counselor (wrote it on the wrong day on the calendar), but she was wonderful to rescheduled it for Friday afternoon. Dr. W agrees with me that Dan's leaving has unearthed all of her loss/abandonment fears and the sleep issue is probably being causes by heightened anxiety levels. It's going to take a few weeks to even out. She had been doing really well. The explosions were coming less often and the duration was lessening. I've ordered a homeopathic calming medicine made by the same company that made the teething tablets I gave Caden to see if that'll help her relax at night. Her brain just won't turn off. Some nights, she would lay in bed for literally hours crying that she was tired.

The sun came out towards the end of the week which makes such a difference for our moods. We were able to get out and play. This weekend was beautiful. It was 60 on Thursday, 70 on Friday and mid to high 80s over the weekend. It's quite an adjustment to the system to skip spring, but I love the warm weather. The kids played outside most of the weekend. We had our picnic at Jerusalem Mill on Saturday and then hung out in the backyard the rest of the time. I was sort of bad and filled the kids up with treats. Saturday, we had ice cream sundaes for a treat and Sunday, I baked cookies and we made ice cream sandwiches. I haven't done that since I was a kid. Yummy!!!!

The only downside of our weekend is that Allie felt bad. She was snippy and rude earlier in the week and I attributed it to Dan leaving, but it might have just been her feeling bad. She suffered through a bad cold and cough this weekend. She seemed better this morning and her nose is clear so I sent her to school. Fingers are crossed that they don't send her home.

Oh...and the best part of the weekend by far was the time we spent webcamming with Dan. They must have worked on his Internet connection while he was here because it's faster now. We were able to see him for the first time since he deployed in real time with no delays. It was so awesome to be able to talk to him, see him, hear his voice and not just have to type back and forth. Communication has been really horrible this time around so it's a real blessing to have the ability to video conference.

Short Sleeve Pants

I love the cute saying my kids have for things. Now that it's warming up (high of 86 expected today - yippee), the kids are begging for shorts. Well, the girls are anyway. Caden doesn't call them shorts. Since we have long sleeve and short sleeve shirts, he's decided pants should be named accordingly and is proudly wearing his "short sleeve pants" today to show off his white legs. We have a day of rock throwing and picnicing planned at our favorite local creek.

2 Wheels in Training

I tried Allie without training wheels at the end of last summer. B-A-D idea. She had NO balance whatsoever. We decided to give her until this summer. Recently, she mentioned she'd learn how to ride her bike after she turned 6. Well, 6 has come and gone and little Allie is mobile on 2 wheels now! In about 3 hours spread over a few days, Allie has gotten her balance and can ride in a straight line. Now, don't ask her to turn a corner or stop because she's not there yet. As an example, we were riding around their school this weekend. Allie was heading straight for a bench. I was yelling "Allie, turn, stop, turn, stop." Sweet Allie just ran straight into the bench and nearly sent herself flying off the bike. The only hiccup in learning to ride has been her distraction level. She's VERY distractable. On Friday, we were at the school when the YMCA after school program came out to play. Allie was pedaling her bike, looking sideways and waving at her friend A with only 1 hand on the handle bars. Oy! Do you think since I've taught them how to ride bikes, Dan can teach them how to drive a car? I don't mind being in the passenger seat with Jae, but Allie scares me just a tad!!!

Readjustment

Hard and painful...filled with snottiness, hair trigger tempers, explosions and whines (and that doesn't include how I'm reacting). Not fun at all!

Pictures From Dan's Visit

Some of these I've posted in previous posts...just wanted to put all of them in one place for Dan (or whoever) to see.

Hershey, PA - Day 3

Easter Sunday - Our Lord is Risen and the heathens that we are were on vacation at an amusement park. It was a great family time though...Anywho...The lodge had a wonderful buffet breakfast for Easter and handed out Easter baskets to the kids filled with dollar store toys and yummy, hershey chocolates. After breakfast, we loaded our stuff into our car, checked out of the hotel and boarded the shuttle to the park. Dan had a specific ride he wanted to ride, an absolutely insane roller coaster, so he headed to it while I took the kids around to all the rides in the kiddie area. We road the trailblazer a few times, drove the cars, paid way too much for Nathan's hot dogs for lunch, went up in the kissing tower and bounced on the frog hopper. We had an absolute blast. Lots of fun memories to tide us over for the next 4 months.

Hershey, PA - Day 2

I had been looking at the weather forecast with dread the week before our trip and just as predicted we woke up to rain on Saturday morning. Yuck. We had a nice buffet breakfast at the Lodge and met several characters. Caden wasn't shy around the Hershey's characters like he was at Disney in September. He's grown up a lot in the last 6 months.Since it was raining and we had free tickets, we went to the Hershey Story. It is a museum that shares Milton Hershey's story and the building of his company and his town. It wasn't too kid friendly, but I really enjoyed it and would have loved time there without kids. Milton Hershey was an incredible man.

We had nothing else to do that was indoor so we went back to the hotel. Dan took the kids swimming while I sat in the hotel room and sulked. I bought rain ponchos...I wanted to go to the park. About 1:30, Dan declared the rain had passed enough for us to go (this is after I watched the weather report and told him the front had moved on and it was clearing up :p). We were so excited. We studied and the map and determined we should start on the rollercoaster the girls and Caden were big enough to ride. We weren't totally sure if Caden would ride or not, but he was a brave little man and LOVED it.

Leaving the station and going down the first hill...

Look, Mom, no hands!

Dan and Caden on his second ride. Of the 2 days we were there, I think we rode this ride 4 times.

We rode a few other rides and wandered in some shops so the kids could spend their money before heading back to the hotel so I could get to my spa appointment. I had a facial that was wonderful. The spa itself was nice, but not what I'm used to from my favorite place on earth, Serenity by the Sea in Destin.

Hershey, PA - Day 1

We had a wonderful time in Hershey. We drove up on a cold but dry Friday after lunch. After checking into Hershey Lodge, we started our exploring at the gardens. The gardens are near the fancy Hotel Hershey on top of a big, windy hill. My goodness...it was so cold and windy, but we persevered and saw all the late winter, early spring flowers. I would love to go back this summer if it were closer.

I know we shouldn't have let the kids climb on the statue, but no one was around to see. So if know one sees, did they really do it - I guess so since I took a picture.

The gardens had several fun things to climb on like this pig. Hold on tight, Caden.The kids are too big for a stroller normally, but our jogging stroller came in very handy on this trip.Jaelyn smelling the hyacinths. Everyone agreed that they were stinky, but I still think they are beautiful.I took several "plant" pictures, and this is by far my favorite.

After the gardens, we drove to Chocolate World at the entrance to Hershey Park. It's mainly a gift shop with a (INDOOR) ride that's a faux factory tour of how Hershey makes their chocolate. Indoor was good because we were freezing after the gardens.

For dinner, I fed the kids peanut butter and jelly in the room (cheapskate mom brought stuff from home) and then took them swimming in the way over crowded pool while Dan went to Hershey's Chocolate Spa for the massage I booked him. After swimming, we put on PJs and headed to craft time. The Lodge was very organized and had lots of fun activities planned for the entire weekend. This night's project with decorating egg shaped sugar cookies with Hershey goodness (kisses, twizzlers, malted milk balls, reeses pieces, etc.). I was in chocolate heaven the entire time we were there, starting with the 5 Hershey bars they gave us when we checked in and continuing through last night with the Hershey's Bliss Dan brought home and left for me to eat.

The night ended with Dan coming back relaxed to sleeping children carrying a present...an appointment at the spa for me!

Two Weeks is Too Short

We took Dan to the airport this morning. We truly had a wonderful visit and I promise to share with pictures in a few days. I feel like wallowing a little in self-pity today, so not really in the mood. I got tail ended on the interstate on the way to the airport in stop and go traffic. I stopped and the Mercedes behind me apparently wanted to go. We stopped to check the van (he didn't) and thankfully there's no damage. I also came very close to getting pulled over. A police man hit his lights when I went passed him (no idea if I was speeding - it was when we pulled off the interstate to check the car. I was hunting for a way back on and was totally not paying attention to the speed). The car in the opposite lane behind me got pulled over instead. Things usually happen after Dan leaves...never on his way to leave.

Allie's 6th Birthday

Happy birthday, baby girl! How is it possible that she is 6? She woke up this morning wanting her "birthday dress" and "birthday hat." Silly girl!

I think back to the 6 month old baby she was when we first met her. She cried and cried that first day and I prayed to God to let me see something other than a crying baby who was upset by everything. I was so worried there was something wrong medically/developmentally with her. God heard me and our second day with her, she was a happy go-lucky little baby. So sweet. Those two days gave us a good pictures of Allie's personality. She's emotional. She really feels things and shares it with the world. Just the other day we were watching Chestnut which is a movie about 2 sisters who get adopted from a children's home and smuggle their puppy to their new house. The puppy saves the day, but gets hurt towards the end (he heals and is okay). It was the beginning of the movie and Allie was sitting there crying with tears running down her face for Chestnut because she knew he was going to get hurt. She used to cry for Elmo and his blanket (blankie) in the same way when she watched Elmo in Grouchland as a toddler.

Allie is a happy little girl. She loves school and is learning so much. I can't believe how well she is reading. She is still a little too "into" boys for my taste. I can't wait till she hits the "boys have coodies" stage. Alex is her current beau. He's in another class, but she gets to play with him at recess. He plays capture with the other boys and always captures Allie. She is constantly drawing pictures of the two of them and writing "Allie loves Alex" and "Alex loves Allie" on them. I'm not looking forward to 16 when she's really into boys.

Allie decided sometime after Dan left for Iraq that she wanted him to bake her a blueberry pie for her birthday. We have no idea where that came from. I'm pretty sure she's never had a blueberry pie. Currently, the blueberry pie is bubbling in the oven. We didn't make it (Sara Lee does it so much better than we ever could), but Allie did help Dan get it ready to bake.
Later, we'll have pie and open presents. I've already let her open one - a rag doll from Caden and Jaelyn that she's named Sally Ann.


So you can see how big Allie has gotten... She's a good inch taller than Jaelyn now.

Over the Top

We went to the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus on Sunday. It was a tad bit pricey, but sooo much fun. One bag of cotton candy cost $12, but they give it to you in this fun hat :p.
We got to the arena extra early since we weren't sure about traffic or parking. We were able to watch the pre-show show. Caden even voluneered to let clowns juggle over him. He stood so still and was so brave until it was over. He got back to me with his little lip quivering. Apparently it's a little scary to have juggling pins fly quickly by your face over and over.

The circus itself was a lot of fun. Our favorite part was when they put 7 motorcyclists inside the "ball ride" mentioned in my previous circus post. That was totally insane but really exciting to watch. Caden enjoyed it and I'm sure was thankful he didn't have to participate. The kids also loved the tiger act and the trapeze. I've warned everyone we will not be trying any of their stunts at home in the backyard!

Overall, I'm really glad we went. It was worth every penny to have the fun memories with Dan. We picked up McDonalds on the way home and then it was a beautiful day so the kids got to spend the rest of it playing in the backyard (Have I mentioned that creepy man moved so I can let the kids play without worrying about him? Yea!)...a great day all around!

Biking

We've had fun with our bikes. The weather has been spotty, but we have managed a few bikes rides and are looking forward to more this week.We went back to the park we road with Kelley at. Everybody managed one ride around the loop before we stopped for our picnic lunch. Allie decided she'd stop for good at that point and play on the playground and in the volley ball pit. Jaelyn wanted to keep riding so Dan stayed at the playground while I road around with Jaelyn. Caden joined us for a little bit. In all, Jaelyn road almost 3 miles (you can imagine bedtime that night with a VERY overtired Jaelyn). I had a lot of fun and will definitely take the kids back in the summer to ride.

Catching Up

I'm behind, but am bound and determined to get caught up today. Dan's been home almost a week. We've had a great time. His plane landed right around noon on Tuesday and we were there waiting for him when he came down the walkway. Jaelyn and Caden ran right to him, filled with excitement. Allie kept her excitement contained and hid behind my leg saying she was nervous. Silly girl...the nerves only took about 3 seconds to leave her so she could jump into Daddy's arms!

Caden bought Dan a light saber for Christmas (with the help of Baba and Grandpa) and he has been just waiting for their first sword fight. Daddy didn't disappoint.

Almost Here

Dan just called and is getting on an earlier flight. He'll be in Baltimore at NOON!!!!

Taking the Clowns to the Circus

The Barnum and Bailey Circus is in Baltimore for 2 weeks and we have tickets for next weekend. When I showed the kids the little video clip on the website about the circus, Caden started crying. He didn't want to go. I was devastated and having memories of Disney. We talked about how fun it would be. I offered to buy him hearing protection, glow sticks and cotton candy (which btw I've brainwashed my kids too well. When I suggested cotton candy to Caden and told him it was like spun sugar, he said "Sugar is bad for you. You shouldn't eat it." LOL.) Anyway, we've kept talking about it and yesterday I figured out the problem. We were planning our shopping outing w/o the girls for today when he says "I'll be brave and I won't even be scared or cry on the ride in the ball." Huh?!?!? And then it dawned on me...he watched the little video and saw a segment with motorcycles racing inside a big sphere. He thought it was a ride he was going to have to go on. After another circus talk, he now understands that we'll be sitting in the stands watching (like Fantasia and the Lion King Show at Disney World). We've looked at the video again with his new perspective and he thinks it's going to be lots of fun. He's looking forward to seeing the elephant that paints. Problem solves...fear removed and yea, I get to take my clowns to the circus!

Late With the Leprechauns

I'm only 2 weeks late with this story, but I did not want to forget to tell it since it's so cute. The beginning of March, Caden's teacher told his preschool class all about Leprechauns: how sneaky they are, how they have pots of gold, and how if you catch one, they have to give you their gold. Well, that day, when the kids were outside playing, the Leprechauns came into their room and created quite the mischief. They knocked over chairs, dumped a bucket of books and even played with the toys. Caden came out of school that day talking all about the sneaky Leprechauns. He tried his best to find one in our house (even snapping pictures behind his back), but in the end, decided that the Leprechauns lived only at his school. They Leprechauns continued to play in his classroom when he wasn't there until St. Patrick's Day (also known as "Green Day" to Caden). On Green Day, they did all sorts of St. Patrick's Day activities. During the art project, Caden developed quite an elaborate plan to catch a Leprechaun. Miss Heather said he was so serious as he explained it to her and that it was well thought out with the trap and using gold glitter as bait (we watch way too much Scooby Doo). The kids came back into the room too quickly after playing and scared the Leprechauns. They didn't see them, but the Leprechauns had to hide so fast that they dropped their gold for the kids to find. I wish I had had a camera to capture the facial expressions...pure excitement...GOLD! Since St. Patrick's Day, Caden wants to wear his "green outfit" all the time. He'll wear it for 3 days in a row before I put my foot down and tell him it has to be washed. He had been sure the Leprechauns would come back to school, but now he's decided to agree with Mommy that they must have gone back to Ireland until St. Patrick's Day next year!

Miss Heather gets a gold star for the St. Patrick's day fun and excitement!

And Our Next Stop Is...

Dan received an email and they indeed have him slated for an ILE slot at Ft. Leavenworth, KS for August 2010. It's the year long school for Major - similar to what we did at Ft. Lee for Captain. It's nice to know this far in advance where we are going next for sure, but a little scary with the housing market the way it is. We are praying for a major turn around in our area so that we don't lose quite so much money when we put our house on the market next summer.

Feeling Better and Other Ramblings

I'd say everyone was feeling better. Caden started his day with dry toast, but quickly moved onto other things. He even tried the girls' pepperidge farm raisin bread today and he likes it. Silly boy! He also has decided he likes eggs as long as they are on french toast (in the batter). He told me today eggs are a vegetable and he was proud that he's eating vegetables now. Of course, Mommy knows nothing and he's totally right when he disagreed after I told him eggs are not vegetables.

Jaelyn felt good enough this evening to pitch a bedtime tantrum. It lost her about 40 tickets out of her cup over 30 minutes. It's been a week since her last one. Dr. W is right; they are getting worse in intensity, but are lessening in frequency and in length so that's a positive. She's not getting the negative attention she normally gets from me by stomping and screaming. I know our neighbors hate us, but I can't care. I can't let it bother me. She's moved on to pushing and hitting at me and it infuriates her when I tell her calmly "We don't hit people. You just lost 5 tickets out of your cup and there will be other consequences when you are calm." Slowly but surely I think changing my behavior and reaction to her is going to help her change her behavior. Instead of feeding the tantrum tonight, other than talking when she was hitting at me, I totally ignored her and tucked Caden and Allie into bed like she wasn't even there. It makes me want a coke and M&Ms when it's all through from the stress I feel inside, but I'm managing to maintain my calm on the outside and that's so important.