Our 6th Gotcha Day

I cannot believe it's been 6 years since Dan and I were standing before a Russian judge petitioning to adoption Jaelyn and Allie. So much has happened since then. We've had another child, we've moved 4 1/2 times (that 1/2 was a 2 month pit stop at my parents on our way back from Germany), we've lived through 2 deployments and through it all, we have grown more and more in love with our daughters every single day. Last year I walked down memory lane by posting my journal entries from that time period. This year, I thought I'd take you on a slide show of our 2 trips to Russia. I don't have time to do all the captions now, but most are pretty self explanatory.

To celebrate our Gotcha Day, we'll be making our gingerbread houses like we do every year. I woke up thinking about the Big Macs we ate in Moscow and after our court date....the best Big Macs in the world, hands down. I think we might have McDonalds for dinner as a happy reminder :).

We are Approved to Foster

Isn't that great timing?!?! A tad bittersweet - well, being honest...lots of bitter, not much sweet! The letter came in the mail yesterday. The perfect way to wrap up our week. I'll call our SW on Monday and talk with her about what Dan's deployment will mean.

For now, I've packed the crib away into Caden's closet and given him his room back!

I Love Garage Sale Finds

The kids and I were on the way to the gym this morning when we passed a garage sale. Well, actually I guess I should call them yard sales now since most people don't have garages and just lay things out by the side of the road up here. Anyway...I've seen lots of baby things over the last few months and passed them all by because I just wasn't quite ready to start buying stuff (especially the big stuff since we don't know what age we'll be getting). This morning, I saw a pretty bassinet on the side of the road. It was just irresistable and I stopped and bought it. $20 (talked down from $30) for a really fancy, well kept bassinet that we might or might not need. If we can't/don't use it, I'm sure I can find someone to pass it on to. I washed all the fabric on it on the sanitary cycle in my washer (LOVE my washer - it deserves a post all by itself) and then Caden and Jaelyn had a fine time cleaning it with wipes. Of course, I'll go back over it with something that'll actually kill germs, rather than just getting the dirt off ;). I think Caden and I might hit the thrift store next week to start looking for clothes.

We Are Done

Our social worker, Billie, came again today for our last interview. She mainly went over the system in our county and how everything will work. We talked a little bit about the type of children we'd like to have and then walked through the house. She asked me if I could locate a copy of our old homestudy from the girls' adoption, but other than that, we are finished. She said she has no concerns about us (not that I was worried she would) and she talked several times about us getting a baby. There have been several in the county lately and they don't have that many "baby" beds or SAHMs for babies that are too young to go into daycare. Starting October 1st, we'll be waiting for "the call!"

Ikea Cribs Are Hard to Come By

I've been stalking Ikea employees for the last few weeks. Well, not really stalking, but I have been calling the children's department EVERY day. Earlier in the week, I was finally rewarded with a "they are in transit." Yahoo - 7 blue cribs were on the way, but they couldn't tell me what day. So the calling continued as well as the obsessive website stock checking. Today, I finally got lucky. They weren't in when I called at 10, but when I checked the website after lunch, it showed they had stock!

The kids and I raced to a very busy Ikea. No one was too happy. Smallworld was FULL so the kids couldn't play and then I couldn't find anyone in the crib department to help me. It took more patience than I had, but after 45 minutes, we had a crib loaded in the back of the van and were headed home. Jaelyn did a great job of helping me to assemble it. It looks great in the room. I'm really happy with my choice.

We took the doors off the closet and put the dresser in it to add floor space for the room. The dresser, btw, was my great-grandmother's. Kind of cool!

Caden's side of the room.

The new kid's side of the room. I love the sheets I found. They have little construction vehicles that match wonderfully with Caden's transportation themed bedding!

1 More Step

We met with our SW for the first time this afternoon. It was a really easy going meeting. We just chatted about lots of things (many non-fostering related). Our next meeting with her is on the 20th and then we are DONE. She said to expect to be licensed 3 weeks after that! AAAHHHH. That's soon. Dan'll be gone the first 2-3 weeks of Sept and when he gets home, we'll be ready for a phone call. We found out there's only 1 other SAHM (stay at home mom for those not into acronyms) with a bed right now. Newborns can't go to daycare until 6 weeks, so she said we'll be one of the first ones to get a call on a newborn. I don't really feel one way or the other about that (sleepless nights are not my favorite), but it would be fun to have such a little one again. I wished away too much of Caden's tiny time and didn't know the girls when they were that age.

Help Me Pick a Crib

It's time to start getting ready for a baby or toddler to arrive. The biggest item we need to purchase is a crib. I have 2 cribs I like. Help me decide. They are about the same price so that's not a deciding issue.

Crib #1 from Ikea:

• Pro: I LOVE the color. It would be perfect in Caden's room
• Pro: It's 13" lower than a traditional crib so it'll seem like it doesn't take up as much space in the room
• Con: It's lower than a traditional crib so there's not a lot storage underneath. Ikea does sell boxes that will slide under it.
• Con: The side doesn't drop down.
• Con: A screwdriver is required for assembly, to adjust the height (only 2 settings) and to convert to a toddler bed
• Con: No wheels so I can't roll it out to get a paci, but I have kids to crawl under for me
• Pro: Did I mention IT'S CUTE!!!! And the blue matches perfectly with the other accents in Caden's room.
  
  Crib #2 from Walmart

• Pro: It has wheels
• Pro: It's super easy to assemble, adjust and convert to a toddler bed w/o tools.
• Pro: There's storage underneath
• Con: It's a traditional crib so it'll seem bigger than the other one
• Con: It's boring white (it comes in oak, but I don't want oak. I either want a color or dark wood to go with everything else in the room)
• Pro: 4 height adjustments

So, which one? The white one is obviously the more practical one, but I just love the blue one. Can I work around the cons? I'm really handy with a screwdriver!

Which would you pick?

Paperchase Update

We are about halfway done with our homestudy. We've passed the fire marshall and health inspections. The kids have all had their physicals. Dan's form is at his doctor's office now and my appointment is next week. I talked with the social worker who'll be doing our homestudy yesterday and scheduled our 2 appointments with her for August. We should be done sometime in September!

Initial Paperchase Complete

I have the packet ready to send back to our social worker. All I'm lacking is Dan's signature on one document. How exciting is that! Thank you, Danny, for working so hard this weekend on your autobiography. I feel good having everything possible done before our trip!

Completed Pride and Onto the Paperchase

Our last two Pride classes were great. Angie and her daughter Lexie stayed with the kids on Monday night and Kelley and Lyssie stayed on Wednesday night. Angie had to deal with an Allie melt-down and Kelley had to deal with a Jaelyn tantrum; so both nights were equally fun for my friends. Thank you, gals, for helping out! I so appreciated it and even though there were a couple of issues the kids had a lot of fun.

Dan and I also had fun finishing our classes. Wednesday night was a graduation of sorts with lots of food and cake. They had a panel of social workers from different departments and several foster families to speak to us. While I enjoyed it, I wish we could have taken the classes in our County. I feel like I know several of the workers in Cecil County, but no one in ours. Oh well, I'm sure we'll get to know them very well before this is over.

Friday, I met with Brenda who is the new foster parent intake person. We spent about an hour going over paperwork and talking about what I learned from the classes and how we came to want to foster. We were also able to both get fingerprinted for the state and federal clearances. They have a fingerprint technician in their office so there were no trips to the jail or to the FBI fingerprint office to get fingerprinted this time. Also, no waiting months for an appointment to get fingerprinted. I like this domestic foster care/adoption thing. The paperwork, knock on wood, is going to be a piece of cake. It is so easy compared to what we did for our home study and Russian dossier. I don't even have to have anything notarized. It just seems so unofficial to me after all that apostilling I did before. I've already completed everything I can complete. As soon as Dan finishes his autobiography, I can drop everything off and get the ball rolling. Just for your general knowledge, we will all have to have physicals and get that form filled out (no notarizing or begging for a copy of the doctor's medical license this time!). I have the appointments scheduled as soon as we get back from vacation. We'll have to meet with our social worker twice in our home and have the fire marshall and health department out to inspect. They are basically looking to make sure we have smoke detectors and a fire extinguisher and that our chemicals are locked up. Our references will have to fill out a form and two will have to meet with our social worker. After that, our social worker will write up our home study, our license will get issued and we'll wait for that first call! We are hoping to be licensed in September or October. I want the kids settled into school before we get a placement. Keep praying!

Babysitting and Making Up Our Class

I finally talked to the foster parent coordinator for our county yesterday. Once we finish our last two classes next week, I need to go in and meet with her to go over our home study paperwork. That's only a week and a half before we head to Florida so I'll get as much done in that time period as I can. For a small fee, we can complete session 2 that we missed online (yea) so we won't have to wait until September. We'd heard home studies had been taking months in our county, but the social worker (SW from here on out) said they've hired extra people for the summer so they should go faster. We'll have to meet with the SW two times in our home and we'll have to have the fire marshall out to clear us. Then of course there's the fingerprint clearance, reference interviews and medicals forms to complete. There may be, probably is, more, but that's all I remember from our home study 5 years ago (Yes, 5 years ago this summer we were beginning the process to adopt the girls. We've come full circle.)

I've found one friend who can cover one night for us next week. I'm still searching for someone to help the other night. Please continue praying.

And the Phone...

Didn't Ring!!! Two classes to go. We left a little earlier last night because of a horrible storm. The kids were happily eating hot dogs and mac 'n cheese with Anna. We went to walmart in the day and bought 3 new, much wanted movies that will only be watched while we are at class. I also helped everyone be a little more mellow with a dose of benadryl (I hoped anyway).

We had different instructors at the class. They joked that the Kristen and Rose show wasn't there meaning we'd be going till 9, not getting out early. It was actually a refreshing class because it was all about permanency and adoption. The two adoption coordinators were there and went through the court process. We watched another movie. I think we are both learning that we are doing the right thing with the girls being so open and talking about their adoptions. We are doing the right thing by doing a birthparent search so when they do hit that questioning period (Who am I? Where do I fit?), we'll have answers or we'll at least be able to share that we tried to get them answers if the searches are unsuccessful. It's helping to reinforce and give us guidance in how to help them process everything. The videos we've watched each week have been a little hard as they all be documentary types showing real adoptees who are struggling to figure out who they are and to come to terms with their adoptions. Of the adoptees we've seen, the ones who had adoptive families that were open and supportive during that period are the ones that grew closer to their adoptive families in the process. In the movie last night (it was about adoption and searching for bio-family), there was an 80-something year old women who finally decided to search for her son. She found him when he was 61. It was quite a reunion. Having all of this training really makes me wish we had been required to do some with the girls' adoption. I think it would have been helpful in guiding us. Anyway...

I called Anna on our way home and the kids were all doing great. They opened up our craft cabinet and had gone to town doing projects with construction paper, squiggly eyes, stickers, glue, pipe cleaners, you name it. Anna drew the line at paint, thankfully! Smart girl. I don't know if it was the prayers and movies and or the crafts and or the rain and or the benadryl, but it was a great night and I am thankful.

The only bad news is that Anna has finals next week that count more heavily than she thought. She may not be able to babysit for us so we are on a babysitter hunt again.

"I Want My Mommy"

I had such high hopes for last night. We had a good day. We played outside in the back yard and at the park, rode the bikes and went for a long walk. The only problem was that Caden didn't take a nap. I was hoping that might be good since he'd be tired, but it turned out to be bad because he was tired. We left Anna and the kids at 5 happily munching away at dinner. We had an oops moment on the drive over when Anna called to ask how to open the bar on the door. I meant to open it - oh well. I must have forgotten my supermom cape at home.

Our class ran LONG - meaning we finished on time. We'd finished early every other class. The phone in the room rang about 8:40 and I knew it was going to be for me. Caden was in full melt down mode and just wanted me. He was so exhausted, but Anna didn't know what to do. The girls, btw, had been great and Jaelyn had even been trying to distract Caden by getting him to draw me a picture. She can be a really good big sister when she wants to be. I talked with a very weepy Caden and convinced him to get one of my teddy bears to hug until I got home. The last 15 minutes of the class took forever and then we had to clean up snacks (on a side note - my snacks turned out great. The 7 layer dip was totally devoured and I got several compliments on my cookies. I'm a words of affirmation kind of girl, you know!). We made it home around 9:35 to find Jaelyn awake, Allie just about asleep, and Caden conked out on the floor.

We brainstormed on the way home and I'm going to leave Anna with my parents cell phone so that maybe Baba can talk to whatever child is having issues before she tries calling us in our class. It's just such a long time for us to be gone (a 3 hour class, plus a good 45 minute drive each way) and it's late. It's a bad combination.

And the Phone Rings

Last night was session 5 of our foster classes. It was Anna's birthday (our babysitter) so we baked her cupcakes in the day, made play dough to play with, and made her a present. We left Anna and the kids happily eating pizza.


About 1 1/2 hours into our class, the phone in the room rang. I should back-up and say cell phones aren't allowed in the courthouse so we left that phone number as an emergency number for Anna. My heart immediately dropped. I was sure it was going to be for us and I was right. Poor Anna. Jaelyn was pitching an all out fit and was refusing to put on her pajamas, go potty, get into bed. I could hear her shrieking in the phone. Anna was beyond her experience and had no idea what to do (as most people would feel when dealing with Jaelyn's tantrums). Anna managed to get Jaelyn on the phone and between her sniffling, she actually talked to me. She didn't want to go to bed. It was as simple as that. Jaelyn and I compromised. Bed was not negotiable, but pajamas, potty and a pull-up were. I told her to get into her bed in her day clothes (as they call them), be very still and quiet and STAY AWAKE. If she didn't want to go to sleep, she didn't have to, but she had to be in her bed. Pick your battles, right... I then talked to Allie, who was laying on Daddy's pillow reading a book and being very good, and Caden, who was in pajamas and ready for bed as well.


Our class wrapped up early, thankfully. We have a quiet class, except for one person. I'm sure the instructor would like more interaction and discussion, but I'm getting a lot out of just listening and don't feel the need to discuss things in front of everyone else. Dan and I usually have a good talk on the drive home, but I'm off topic now. We got out early, about 8, and drove home as fast as we could to rescue poor Anna (and on her birthday no less). All was quiet when we got home around 8:30. Anna said she thought they were asleep since they'd been quiet for a little while. Sounds can be so deceiving with my little angles though so I went upstairs to check. First Caden's bed...no Caden and then I heard a loud crash from the girls room. I checked there next and found a mountain of books on the floor. I peaked in Jaelyn's bed and found Caden on the end preparing to throw another batch on the floor. Jaelyn's bed was full of books as well. Apparently, the kids had been very stealthy and had gotten all the books out of Caden's room. They had also cleared the girls' bookshelf. I turned their lights on, told them to clean them up, and then left Dan to supervise while I took Anna home.


I think I was awake half the night last night (and the circles under my eyes this morning confirm it) trying to figure out how to make them be good for her. Bedtime is the issue. The conclussion I've come up with is that bedtime is stressful when I'm doing it, and I've been doing it for 4 1/2 years. Next time, I'm going to have her get them ready for bed and then have her park them with their pillows and blankets in front of the TV to watch a long movie with the threat of going to bed if they get up. If nothing else, we only have 4 more classes to go until we are done. Just please pray the kids will be good for Anna so she'll keep coming!! We really need her.

This is Anna with the kids wearing our birthday hat from Baba. The kids said she didn't wear it while she blew out the candle on her cupcake and they were singing to her, though. :p

Can't Wait for Monday

I just talked with the coordinator for Cecil County's Pride class. We got a slot so we will start Monday night. My parents will be here to help with the kids for two classes and then Anna will babysit for the others. We'll miss 1 class while we are in St. Lucia that we'll make up in September. If everything goes according to plans, we'll be licensed by late fall or early winter. I feel like jumping up and down. We are going to get that 4th little person...

Scheduled Our Classes

In the state of Maryland, you have to take 27 training hours to become foster parents. Our county's next class doesn't start until September, but Cecil County is starting a class in 2 weeks. The September class here should be licensed by January and we don't want to wait that long. I still have to confirm with the coordinator there, but our coordinator here put our name on the list. We start May 12th. We'll be missing one class while we are in St. Lucia that will have to be made up in September, but that's okay. We can't complete our home study or be licensed until we complete the hours, which means we will hopefully be licensed by the end of September or beginning of October. I talked to our new baby sitter (yea, still love her) today and her mom is going to let her baby sit for us the hours that we need; so we are all set!

I'm actually getting very excited about this. I know it's not a sure thing, but I feel very hopeful about having another little boy. I guess I feel kind of like I did when we decided to pursue the girls' adoption. When we first started, I was excited, but very apprehensive about it, but within a few weeks, I was so sure it was what we were supposed to be doing. This feels the same way.

We talked with the kids tonight and explained as best we could on their levels about being a foster family. We have decided not to mention adoption to them until we get to that point. At dinner, Jaelyn counted us and said "There are 3 girls and 2 boys. When we got our little boy, there'll be 3 girls and 3 boys. Six!" Sounds like someone else likes the idea too.

Exciting Announcement

For a very long time, I've felt like we were meant to have a fourth child. Three is just such an odd number. I think I'm more of an even kind of girl :). I know I haven't shared much about our infertility journey and I'm not planning on sharing now. I'll just say that a biological child is not in the picture for us. I don't even really desire a pregnancy or a newborn or a genetic connection to a child. I just want to find that fourth little person who's missing from our family. A few weeks ago, I asked Dan if he would consider adopting again. I didn't think he would as he's seemed pretty happy with our little family, but he said he'd be open to it. I've felt drawn to foster care and foster to adopt for a little while now so I started researching that. Dan and I attended an informational meeting last night through the county. We both left feeling positive and a tad bit excited about taking this huge leap of faith. Soooo....we are going to become licensed foster parents in the hope of finding a healthy, little boy under the age of two to adopt (how's that for a specific prayer you can pray for us?!). I have no idea what God has in store for us. Only He knows that and we might be opening ourselves and our children up to loss and pain because there are no guarantees in fostering, but I think we will also find great joy in being able to give a child a safe, happy home for as long as he is with us. And if it's God's will, we'll find that fourth little person I've been dreaming about for so long.

I ask that you'll join us in praying for the process of getting licensed (which looks like a piece of cake compared to our 4 inch thick Russian Dossier) and then praying for a placement. Please also pray for us as we prepare the kids for the exciting journey ahead! Thank You!