Call From the Counselor

Apparently Allie isn't doing as well as I thought. She has had 2 great days this week (confirmed by the school counselor), but last Friday was bad, worse than she told us. Allie tore up work, just flat out refused to do it. She threw a horrible tantrum and had to go to the counselor's office. Did I know about it??? No because no one bothered to write a note to tell me. They've decided maybe she's hungry so asked if I could send in 2 snacks (1 for the morning and 1 for the afternoon) that she can eat by herself in the hallway quickly. The counselor said that with the refusing to do work, they are going to give her 2 chances to do it. If she doesn't, they'll send it home with me to do and I'll make sure she misses out on something fun while she does it. I suggested for tantrums, they take time away from her recess time and make her sit on a bench and do her work - I don't know if they'll do that or not. When she is refusing to do the work and sitting at her desk or the think chair, she's making noises and being distracting to the other children...they are going to give her 3 chances (1,2,3 magic???? haven't read the book, but counselor referenced it) and then send her to the office. I don't want my kid to be "that" kid that no one wants in their room. Oh and the kicker to me...the school has a psychologist that comes once a week. They'll be discussing Allie with her/him this week. I just don't know how I feel about that. I want her to have a positive experience, but I don't think a psychologist and testing/diagnosis is the way to go here. I think clear, daily communication (I talked with the counselor about this) and being firm with Allie with consequences while heaping on praises (and recognizing when Allie's gonna blow - because seriously, I had tantrum issues with her when she was 2, but I haven't had issues on a continual basis like that since - maybe I'm just good at heading them off???). I just know I really didn't need that phone call at all today.

Our lives have taken a dramatic turn and I'm still dazed and struggling with it.